Obama Administration Lowers Tax Threshold

by Rowlan D. Haye
Skinnyreporter.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Taxpayers who earn less than $9,080 a year will not see an increase in taxes or federal fees in 2011, the Obama Administration's chief economist said today.

"We had anticipated that only taxpayers who made more than $250,000 a year would see an increase in taxes and mandatory federal fees," White House Financial Projections Chief Paye T. Morrow said. "But we are being forced to lower that threshold due to deficit spending by the Bush Administration."

He said "all the best economists in the world are surprised" that tripling the deficit since President George W. Bush left office has not reduced federal indebtedness. He said their calculations were based on observations of the typical American family and had indicated that the country's debt problems could be solved by tripling financial obligations.

"Think of the United States as a family that has $30,000 in credit card debt," Morrow said. "The obvious solution is to get two new credit cards and spend another $60,000. We applied that model to federal spending, but there was a totally unexpected result: The federal government now owes more money than it did previously. This is especially puzzling because all the economists who supported President Obama's campaign had reached a consensus that our current path would lead us quickly out of the mess that Bush left us in."

Director Robin Steele of the Internal Revenue Service said taxpayers can take solace in the fact that they will be getting more for their money as tax rates increase.

"There are many positive aspects of paying a higher percentage of income to the federal government," he said. "For example, you can take pride in contributing toward the salaries of thousands of new IRS agents who will be enforcing the Health Insurance Reform Bill's requirement to carry health insurance. Deadbeats who don't pay the penalties can be fined $25,000. We anticipate tax liens will be placed on 4 million houses, which will be a wonderful boost to America as it increases its real estate holdings."

He said taxpayers also can take pride in contributing toward the welfare of fellow citizens, including those with Exertion Aversion Syndrome (EAS), a prime cause of unemployment.

Republican Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the House, said the announcement "surprised no one on the right," saying he had predicted during the 2008 presidential campaign that candidate Barack Obama would never live up to his promise to freeze taxes on citizens making less than $250,000 a year.

"Left-wing Democrats are big-time tax-and-spenders," he said. "That's what they do to buy new voters. The more people who become dependent on the government, the more they vote for candidates who promise something for nothing."

Political commentator Bob Beckel, who was manager of Walter Mondale's presidential campaign, said Obama broke no promises.

"Our great leader never promised not to raise taxes on anybody," he said. "President Obama said it was part of his plan. He simply has adopted a different plan. He is living up to his promise to raise taxes only on the wealthy. In this economy anybody with a job is wealthy, so the president in good conscience can raise taxes. Furthermore, the president never raises taxes anyway. It's Congress. The President merely signs bills or lets them become law, but the negative consequences of any congressional bill are never the president's fault with one major exception, and that is if the president is a Republican."

Russ Keyes of the Congressional Income Parity Committee said Congress needs more money to solve inequity problems caused by former President Bush.

"The Bush tax cuts might have helped the economy," he said, "but they allowed too many Americans to keep an unfair share of their income. There's something fundamentally wrong with buying a second car when your neighbor owns none. Nobody should be allowed to buy a second home until every American has one. Nobody should be able to pay for expensive private schools when most Americans have their children in inferior public schools. And no patriotic American should be allowed to waste money on vacations or gambling on the stock market when that money could be better spent by the federal government."

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said Congress is working on innovative methods of exempting favored citizens from paying tax increases.

"The Health Insurance Reform Bill included several exemptions for union members, which tend to vote Democrat and are major contributors to the only party that really cares about Americans," she said. "New tax raises, therefore, will not apply to union members. We also are considering other exemptions, such as for film directors, movie actors, community organizers, contributers to MoveOn.org and abortionists."