Virtual polygraph reveals Obama truth

by May Read
Skinnyreporter.com

ROSWELL, N.M. — The most accurate virtual polygraph machine ever built has revealed that President Barack Obama seldom makes statements that are not deceptive. That's the conclusion of virtual polygraph expert Izzy Lyon, who used a Falsehood Indicating Biessameter (FIB) to analyze 1,237 videotaped declarations by Obama since his election, including statements at all four of his press conferences.

"My third generation FIB showed that about 6 percent of President Obama's statements show no evidence of deception," Lyon said. "That is low even for a career politician. The average politician is 12 percent. That is not to say they tell the truth 12 percent of the time; half the time they think they're telling the truth, they're still wrong. So the average politician is either lying or making false statements about 94 percent of the time, and Obama is worse than that at about 97 percent."

The Generation III FIB measures seven indicators of deception, including breaths and blinks per minute, voice quivers, eyebrow lifts, lip pursing, facial muscle twitches and a measurement that has been kept secret by the inventor of the machine, Hy I. Cue. Tests by the Logical Independent Assessment Registry (LIAR) indicate that the virtual FIB is even more accurate than a conventional polygraph machine.

Special software applied to FIB measurements replaces a subject's deceptive statements with words that indicate truthfulness. Sound wave duplication software then produces truthful statements in the subject's own voice.

Truth regeneration expert Marv Ellis said the differences between what Obama believed and what he actually said are so vast that listening to his actual beliefs can be unnerving.

He said the software, Truth Check, automatically replaces lies of commission with statements that the subject actually believes. It then inserts proper words, phrases and terms where appropriate to correct lies of ommission. The software cannot verify the truth of a subject and deals only with the subject's attitudes about the veracity of his or her own statements.

"Some politicians are so stupid that they will believe almost anything that aligns with their biases," Ellis said. "For example, Mr. Obama actually believes that raising taxes will stimulate private businessess to hire more employees, but that should be expected since he has never worked in the private sector."

Ellis released a list of regenerated statements that indicate Obama's actual beliefs rather than his verbalized statements:

For example, when Obama as a candidate promised that no person making less than $250,000 would face a tax increase during his administration, he actually meant that no couple , married or unmarried, heterosexual or homosexual, making less than $250,000 between them during their working lifetimes would see any tax increases except for adjustments to Social Security and income tax contributions.

Some of Obama's modified statements indicate that he is a radical leftist and socialist, which is no surprise to many observers.

Regarding the redistribution of wealth, his regenerated statement is, "I will not redistribute the income of any American citizen who does not have a job."

Birthers who seek irrefutable proof of Obama's U.S. citizenship will be relieved to hear the president's regenerated statement on the subject:

"I did not give the state of Hawaii permission to show my original birth certificate because my mother was unsure of my father's identity, and I wished to spare myself and my family from needless embarrassment."

What was the president's motivation for seeking passage of the health insurance reform bill?

"Federal health care reform will remove unfair advantages currently possessed by largely white suburban families who have sufficient resources to pay for insurance that covers medical costs," he said.

Obama is dedicated to "eliminating our addiction to fossil fuels even if global warming is not caused by humans because localized warming, particularly of single family homes during winter, is an unnatural phenomenon that is undisputed and should be stopped immediately."

Was the president earnest when he took an oath to protect the Constitution?

"I pledged to protect the U.S. Constitution from those who would use it to prevent legislators, the President and federal justices from redefining and reinterpreting it to support progressive policies," he said.

Citing fears that Obama would outlaw guns and ammunition, gun owners across America bought so many guns and ammunition during Obama's first year in office that manufacturers could not keep up with demand. Were such fears unfounded?

"I will not take guns away from law-abiding American citizens as long as their weapons are modified to prevent discharge, whether accidental or intentional," reads Obama's regenerated statement on the topic.

FIB and Truth Check verified Obama's position on personal savings.

"As long as greedy Americans have surplus funds stored in bank accounts," Obama said, "there is a need to redistribute income to inner city families whose bills exceed their income."

On pro-choice: "I am opposed to abortion except when there is a possibility that a fetus can become viable if allowed to remain in the womb until birth."

On the Gulf of Mexico gusher: "As president, I take full responsibility for all delays to correct the Deepwater Horizon oil leak, a decision that was necessary in order to demonstrate to the American public the need for a permanent moratorium on drilling for fossil fuels anywhere they are found."

On charitable contributions: "I am committed to using the might and power of the federal government to compel citizens to contribute to the charities of my choosing rather than commiting my own hard-earned income to charities that need far more than I possess."

On illicit drugs: "I believe the federal government should not interfere with certain basic civil rights, such as the right to ingest or inhale vegetable compounds derived from hemp or coca leaves."

On reaching across the aisle: "I am willing to listen to any bipartisan proposals except those that differ from my own policies."

On employment opportunities for workers who lose jobs in the green economy: "Any person who contributes to the rape of the earth by working in an industry that produces energy derived from the burning of fossil fuels have earned the right to join the ranks of the unemployed."

On illegal immigration: "Undocumented aliens who pledge loyalty to the Democrat Party should receive permanent immunity from prosecution for entering the country illegally and should be rewarded with full citizenship, retirement, public education and health care benefits."

Quote of the Day

"When you subsidize poverty and failure, you get more of both." — James Dale Davidson, National Taxpayers Union

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